Alive for God

I grew up in a Christian family, loving and serving God's kingdom.

I was between 11 and 13 years old when I gave my life to God. I prayed in bed, handing over my entire existence into His caring hands, giving Him full liberty to shape me as He saw fit, even if it meant breaking me. At that moment, I felt His love invade me. It was a powerful mixture of well-being, peace and joy... I felt as if I were floating above my bed, so exceptional was this sensation of love!!!!

No drug I took afterwards could ever make me experience such sensations again, it was marvellous!

Unfortunately, after a few years, it was as if I'd forgotten what had happened between us. Little by little, I drifted away from God, because I was badly influenced and too concerned about the way others looked at me.

I was trying to please the world rather than the Creator of the world...

--- A quick summary of my 14 to 23 years: Alcohol, girls, cigarettes, video games, work, drugs. It wasn't flying high.

One day, pushed by my father who wanted me to do something with my life (thanks Dad, by the way), I left for Guadeloupe, attracted by the landscapes and life by the sea.

This trip brought me closer to God, at first.

I soon met “friends” who kindly got me to try out all sorts of excesses, everything the world thinks is cool, everything that's trendy. This situation quickly degenerated. In a few words, we lived for partying, for the pleasures of the flesh.

Then there were various adventures, which I may tell you about one day.

After about 10 months on this beautiful island, I had a car accident. A motorcycle slammed into me. I wasn't at fault, but as I wasn't insured, EVERYTHING fell on me... (when you don't have insurance, you're not supposed to be on the road. So there would have been no accident... in short: the law).

To explain the seriousness of the situation, I later received a letter at home demanding €94,000, WITHOUT INTEREST, for the costs generated by the accident.

I might as well tell you that I wasn't feeling well at all. Despite all the parties and excesses to forget about the affair, the sword of Damocles hanging over my head began to weigh on me more and more.

Repeated alcohol and drug abuse didn't help the situation at all, on the contrary... Those around me weren't much help.

When I took a step back (for the first time), I realized that it was all leading nowhere. And yet I had a dream life on paper. Money, girls, drugs, nothing was missing.

All this led me into an internal depression.

I wondered what was the point of living at the end of the day, if the simplest thing wasn't to just kill myself to shorten the ordeal of this life as a slave to partying and money.

I was determined to get it over with (although I wasn't in a hurry, as the life I was leading was already killing me). But one thing held me back: does God really exist?

If so, that changes EVERYTHING. I had to know for sure.

That's when I started praying regularly, asking Him to prove His existence by a miracle (those were the words I used regularly in my prayers).

After a week and a half of prayer, as I was standing at the top of a scaffolding on a building site, it toppled over... Right at the bottom was grass and a long row of cinder blocks placed side by side

The story could have ended there. But my head fell between 2 cinder blocks...!!!

In fact, 1 had been used for the building site, leaving a gap in the row. My skull would have exploded had the cinder block remained. I was in shock.

That evening, I picked up my Bible, which I'd never opened before, and opened it randomly to Luke 11v29. In this verse, Jesus said:

“This generation is an evil generation; it asks for a miracle; no miracle will be given to it but that of Jonah.”

Jonah was supposed to have drowned, but God saved him by sending a whale that gobbled him up and spat him out on the beach.

It was as if Jesus was speaking directly to me.

God, in His immense goodness, revealed Himself to me by answering my prayer when I wasn't even worthy of praying to Him.

I was decided, instead of leaving this world by suicide, I would just leave this island and refocus on what was essential: Jesus.

Some time later I returned to France, fleeing this futile life full of temptations. I refocused on God and His words in Bible.

I had an unquenchable thirst to discover Him more and more, not only through reading the Bible, but also through conferences, studies and online services!

Despite all this, I was still a slave to alcohol and cannabis.

One day, as I was taking one of my best friends home from an impromptu party, we saw lights on a dark road. It was the police doing a traffic control. I didn't stop, because I knew I was in the wrong. I lost them and thought I was off the hook.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, in retrospect), they had noted my number plate and soon traced it back to me.

The procedure was launched and I realized what a mess I'd gotten myself into (again)...

About a week later, another police squad called me to ask for my statement concerning an accident in Guadeloupe...... This case, which I hadn't heard anything about for 2 years, fell into my lap at the WORST possible moment.

Right away, I was panic-stricken, and had never trembled so much. I was at the end of my life.

That same evening, thinking of the number of problems that would sweep over me, the price it would cost me and feeling in a huge impasse, I decided to lay all my burdens and my miserable life in Jesus' hands with a sincere prayer.

Realizing my incompetence in managing my life, I decided to hand it over to Him entirely, without compromise. Considering my previous life dead in Guadeloupe between his 2 cinder blocks, I was now living for Him, with all that that implied. And do you know what? It was the best decision of my life.

I knew that only He could intervene if He wished, and that whatever happened, He had a perfect plan for my life, which was now His.

After this sincere and true prayer, an indescribable peace came over me, a peace that surpasses all understanding, the peace that God gives. I had 2 cases on the go, risked losing my license, over €100,000 in fines and maybe even prison... yet I was at peace, and even joyful.

The weight that had been on my shoulders had disappeared, because I had abandoned it at the feet of Jesus.

The trial concerning the Guadeloupe affair took place. I learned that the person who had bumped into me didn't have insurance either. I got off with a €300 fine... GLORY BE TO GOD!!!

The other case is still ongoing and I haven't heard anything for a while.

Now I try to live as much as possible in communion with Him, in a deep relationship with our Heavenly Father.

God is alive, loves us and wants what's best for us! If we sincerely seek Him with all our heart, He is faithful and just to reveal Himself to us!

I now live for Him, as a servant for the advancement of His Kingdom here on earth. He takes care of me like a loving Dad. I've never been so fulfilled and happy, thanks to Him.

Thank you again, Eternal Father, I deserved nothing.